confessions of kindergarten humor....

(Today is Monday)
Okay boys and girls, I love you guys, and I'll see you tomorrow.
Does anyone know what tomorrow is?
"Tomorrow is FRIDAY!"
Somedays---I wish they were right....

"um, Mr. Bowler, can....I....have...a....pencil?" -student A
"hahaha, it's Ms. Bolin!!!!"-student B
Yes, this is officially what one student called me for the first two weeks of school...the
one with all the languages.

Today, the Art teacher asked to have class in our room. I agreed and she brought in construction paper, stuffed dogs, etc for the students. They were "tearing" out shapes for their dogs and gluing the pieces to paper. She informs me that one of the dogs is anatomically correct and the student is admiting this. Upon my arrival at the desk-he had put a sweater on his dog.
That's right-when you're naked-put clothes on.

"Uummm....Teacher" (to which I respond-is my name teacher?" or "wow, someone changed my name)

So, one day the computer teacher is reading to my students (because the lab isn't finished) and they LOVE "No David!" so of course they con him into reading it to them for the 50th time that week. One on of the pages, David is picking his nose. Well, all the kids were like "Ewwwww, gross"...to which I looked over and said, "Right, and you all use tissues."

From across the lunchroom I see one of my students with his dirty fork walking toward the silverware bowl in the lunch line. I began to yell-"No, no, no" and walk quickly to the rescue of everyone else's forks--to no avail---Can I say "5 second rule?"

"bunnies and bubble tails" (bubbles and bunny tails keeps the kids from talking in the hall and from touching each other)

"Okay, we are going to do patterns today with the letters A and B" Let's say the pattern A, B, A, B
5 out of 6 students say "ABAB"
that 1 out of 6 starts singing "ABCDEFG" to which the rest of the class joins.
I-just stopped.