confessions of a possible green thumb......

Well, we're learning ALL about plants this week :) I mean from putting beans in plastic bags to actually planting them-then learning the parts, the needs, etc. We're cutting and pasting like it's our jobs and successfully-it looks like a tornado hits the room every single day. But-they love it, I love it, and we are super nice to our janitorial staff.

Quote of the Day

Me-" Boys and Girls, when you read 25 books, you will get one of these great pencils (they aren't just ANY pencils with great big erasers with big-eyed animals on them)**Note** You can't get pencils with erasers on them here-they just don't make them**

Them-(silence) "wow" "look at that one" "oh, i want...."

Me-"James gets the first pencil!" "Congratulations for reading 25 books!"

Nicolas-"I'm gonna read 100 books-just like Jesus"

Me-"Well, I don't know how many books Jesus read, but I want you to be just like Him!"

Nicolas-"Yes, but I'm gonna read 100 books-just like Jesus"

Ahh, Kindergarten

From the Playground :

Here are three of my boys who would rather swing than do anything!!

Soccer- Huddle UP! :) I think these are 2nd graders!

the real confession...

Well, church was quite interesting tonight. I got to hear "Negro Spirituals" in English and Portuguese.....by what happens to be one of the most beautiful and articulate choirs..maybe ever. Amazing. All the while, I was trying to ever so discreetly ward off the bugs. "Flying ants" my Brasilian friend says. They come after the rain, fly around kind of like they are drugs, and aggravate everyone. My questions was, "Do they bite?" "No?" But for some reason....the feeling of something crawling up your leg is not.....desirable. Anywho.

I finished my awesome Sunday School class today---I'm so sad---I have to find another one to attend. I'm not really sure what to do about that.

Here's the real confession...
So-you guys want to know my biggest struggle? I'm afraid that I'm a burden/distraction. To those who translate, the rest of the class (or the congregation), and this is so hard. I almost go to pieces every Sunday/church service about this.
Some of this is just normal "I'm living in a foreign country" stuff. The rest of it is an "independence" problem. The thoughts of depending on others is so scary for me. I have a terrible time with this. It is really hard and takes a lot of work to translate for someone. The translator sometimes gets next to nothing out of the service. I really struggle with that. I begin to think about their sacrificial giving-I do my best to thank them. I just don't feel like it is ever sufficient. One girl sacrifices her Saturday nights to do this for me.
I cannot explain my difficulty with these situations. I'm in a good place, with good people, and always a great Word from God (when I do have a translator).
You are thinking-wow-is this the biggest problem she has?
This is tortuous for an extrovert. Walking around without a clue how to talk to, respond to, and communicate with people-anywhere and everywhere.

In all of this, I'm learning to be dependant more on God to provide and put people in my life at just the right times (and He does). It's so hard to depend on people for so much. Think about it, I'm 26, not married, I'm living in a foreign country. That automatically makes me a tad bit independant. But what God is showing me is that it's not about my independence but it is all about how dependant I can be on Him. It wasn't my independence that got me here-it was Him. Do I trust Him? His provisions are always perfect. So-yeah-what am I stressing about? AH!

confessions from the lunchroom monitors...

"Boys and girls, what day is it tomorrow?"
(Nicolas holds up his hand)
"Yes, Nicolas..."
(deep breath)
"Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, FRIIIIIIday, Saturday"


"Ms. Bolin" -Mr. Fryar (the "Principal of the Cafeteria" according to his son)
"Yes, Mr. Fryar.."
"Why do the kids call me Mr. Pancake?"
"I have no clue AND there is no song."

Mr.......Fryar......you've....got.......ants....in....your.......pants.. :)


My kids....have to be the most adorable, most creative, lively, and crazy group of kids. I love them more and more each day, talk about them like they are my own, live to see them succeed, and am stirred deep within to show them the love of Christ in every possible way.

confessions from the prayer journal!!!!

HEY! Everyone!! This week has been totally hard-I won't lie. My kids have been out of their minds (which makes me out of mine) and it's just been a real week. But in saying all of that-I have to tell you that as hard as it is...I love my job.

But-the most amazing things have happened!
Praises!

• I received my boxes from the states (haha-but they are being held in customs-we're gonna try to jew them down a bit on the price....)
• My brother got a job interview at the prison in our hometown (I've been writing this request down for about 1 1/2 years now) Now, we just have to pray FOR the interview! He was so excited and yet nervous! I just told him to remember that God already knows what is going to happen!
• I start Portuguese lessons on Monday with a Christian girl who must LOVE missionaries, teaching, and English. She suggested three days a week (WOW!-wasn't expecting that one) and I agreed :) She will be coming to my workplace! Ahh! I just feel so blessed and overjoyed-so many things at the same time!
• IT RAINED again last night and this morning ;) You just don't know how good it feels when it rains here. The humidity is like 10% every day-no lie. Brasilia went over 100 days without rain and even now-the ground is dry before it really has a chance to be muddy. The cool breeze reminded me of fall in the states (but really here-it is like spring) and I loved it!

AHH! I'm just so amazed but I don't know why? God always provides exactly what I need and He answers those prayers for others as well. He's been pointing me to John 17 lately (like from every angle) and Jesus' "High Priestly Prayer". :) It is really cool to see it through a child's eyes, through a scholar, and then a peer. A-Mazing.

"My God is so BIG, so STRONG, and so MIGHTY, there's nothing that my God cannot DO! For YOU!" -my kids sing this like there is no tomorrow.....and so they should.

confessions of kindergarten humor....

(Today is Monday)
Okay boys and girls, I love you guys, and I'll see you tomorrow.
Does anyone know what tomorrow is?
"Tomorrow is FRIDAY!"
Somedays---I wish they were right....

"um, Mr. Bowler, can....I....have...a....pencil?" -student A
"hahaha, it's Ms. Bolin!!!!"-student B
Yes, this is officially what one student called me for the first two weeks of school...the
one with all the languages.

Today, the Art teacher asked to have class in our room. I agreed and she brought in construction paper, stuffed dogs, etc for the students. They were "tearing" out shapes for their dogs and gluing the pieces to paper. She informs me that one of the dogs is anatomically correct and the student is admiting this. Upon my arrival at the desk-he had put a sweater on his dog.
That's right-when you're naked-put clothes on.

"Uummm....Teacher" (to which I respond-is my name teacher?" or "wow, someone changed my name)

So, one day the computer teacher is reading to my students (because the lab isn't finished) and they LOVE "No David!" so of course they con him into reading it to them for the 50th time that week. One on of the pages, David is picking his nose. Well, all the kids were like "Ewwwww, gross"...to which I looked over and said, "Right, and you all use tissues."

From across the lunchroom I see one of my students with his dirty fork walking toward the silverware bowl in the lunch line. I began to yell-"No, no, no" and walk quickly to the rescue of everyone else's forks--to no avail---Can I say "5 second rule?"

"bunnies and bubble tails" (bubbles and bunny tails keeps the kids from talking in the hall and from touching each other)

"Okay, we are going to do patterns today with the letters A and B" Let's say the pattern A, B, A, B
5 out of 6 students say "ABAB"
that 1 out of 6 starts singing "ABCDEFG" to which the rest of the class joins.
I-just stopped.

confessions of my anger with movie translators....and then a little at myself....

So-it's been a reoccuring theme that when people are speaking to me-sometimes they say some odd things. Last week, one of the crazy guys at church said the American slang word for "jerk". You know what it is. We were at church and my jaw dropped. As I recomposed myself, the young man asked me what it meant. Looking at his face, I realized that he had no clue what he just said. I kindly explained what the word actually meant and his face dropped. Now, he was in shock. We were both heartbroken and maybe a bit embarrased. I didn't know who to be angry with-the American television or the Portuguese translators. That's right, just fluff it up, make it something it is not. Sounds like a nonliteral translation.........that's frustrating as well....

Anyways-I thought of Jenn Martin today as I walked through the Metro Station. This thumping began to run through my body as I walked closer to the open area. I thought for sure I had walked into the ghetto---and yet as I got closer--I began to laugh at myself. They were just break dancing. Someone set up a set of spinners and there were all of these people sitting and standing in a circle. In turn, they were on their heads, their sides, feet in the air-kind of like hip hop gumby or something.

Almost as funny as I was walking in the supermarket the other night and this annoying, BLARING music was coming from the front of the cash registers. After a few trips up and down the isle--I look over--and it's a guy playing a keyboard and singing karaoke in English. "Nuh uh" came out of my mouth as I continued shopping (and once again laughing). I needed that good laugh after one of those "hard" days.

Every other Friday night, we have a service for the Youth of our school. This service includes praise & worship, some crazy fellowship, and an astounding message from Chris Fryar (our school financial director and his other position is "Principal of the Cafeteria"-according to his son, Caleb). Chris began to see the need for the students to get real with God. To get real with their actions, their idols, their insecurities, their thoughts, and their lives in general. Apparently some of them have given in to the world during the summer. The staff is broken and concerned for the students as there have been other factors worked into this equation as well-such as the Muslim family (yes parents and all) that attended, the Brazilian girls, and a few others. I know God can do whatever He wants and will use whomever He wants...
"Take me past the outer courts, into the holy place,
Past the brazen alter, Lord I want to see your face,
Take me past the crowds of people and priests who sing your face
I hunger and thirst for your righteousness and I've only found one place.."

Chris talked about the students' reasons for being there every other week. He asked them to
evaluate their lives for the sake of God. He was talking in context of coming to Smash....But-It really made me stop and think a bit about my own selfish motives for certain things in my life. I am really praying that I will seek to serve God better by seeking to serve others well. Serving others when it isn't convenient for me. Service always with a cheerful giving heart. I think I can get bogged down with "stuff" which makes service to others tiring and inconvenient for me. I am directed to the verses in Matthew 25-And the King will answer them, 'Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.'-when someone is need. I should be ready to serve anytime-anyone-without complaint.


On a lighter note-I experienced my first power outage this week-While I was in the shower at 5 am one morning. Quite hilarious. Thank the Lord for decisions NOT to wash hair and for candles in tins ( I told you guys I would need them!!). I opened my computer for light and amazingly enough put on makeup and finished getting ready! Oh the things you can do!!

confessions of 4 1/2 year olds on the green carpet

So-today-I bravely layed out our paperback classroom Bibles (fearful of what would happen to them) and anxiously awaited the arrival of my students.
I obviously didn't understand their view of reverance.
I always read from the Bible to them and read verses out of the Bible. I really didn't know if they could actually hold their Bibles and listen to a story without ripping the pages, throwing them around, sitting on them, etc. (all the things I've seen them do with my books).
Wow, God is so great-He is so wondrous. They knew what they were holding. In the innocence of their minds-they carefully looked at the pictures, flipped through the pages, and some even began unfolding some of the tattered and folded pages. When we held them-it was like a silent hush fell over the kids as they each received this huge book.
As I was reading the story-they began looking at the pages and as this perturbed me, I stopped to listen to what they were saying. One of my 4 1/2 year olds said, "Look-this is Jesus-he is still on the cross." Grasping this teachable moment I said, "No, Jesus is not on the cross. He is with God the Father in heaven." Upon this, we went through the whole story. My little Zambian was on it-she told him all about how Jesus was punished for our sins(think Passion of the Christ) to which I began to talk about sin and what this was. We talked about how Jesus was perfect (and in the conversation someone said, "Yeah, he never pinched or hit his friends." This was so profound to a couple of them. I should also share that they had this "nuh uh" moment the other day when I told them that we are all sinful from birth-from the time we are babies. I mean their looks said it all (some even dropped the jaw)---they were astonished at this concept.
I'm almost certain that two of my students do not attend church and from their responses-we are not really sure what their religious views are at home. I will say though, that one of them sings Jesus Loves Me like it's going out of style and the other BEGS to pray before lunch. Simply amazing. God can do whatever He wants.
"All God's children singing, Glory, Glory, Hallelujah He Reigns, He Reigns"-this rolls off their tongues at least four times a day (depending on the CD rotation) and Hosanna (Christy Nockels) is beginning to go from hummms to words-they also love Kari Jobe -and Shawn McDonald makes them wiggle in their seats. I'll tell you though, the ones that love it the most are the two with the rather sketchy backgrounds.
Pray for them and for their families that I would have the chance to show them all Christ and just share God's love and truth with them as the occasions arise.

confessions about a hymn-hater

So, today, someone said to me, "I really don't like hymns. I sang them when I was young and they have no meaning." I almost hit the roof. Grant it-I have only (in the past couple of years) begun to really appreciate the profound meaning of specific hymns. Once I was saved, I really started to understand what I was singing about and how these hymns are lyrical pictures of Christ, grace, salvation, and so many other things. "Nothing But the Blood", "Standing on the Promises", "Come Thou Fount", "Blessed Assurance", "Victory in Jesus",-the list goes on and on. Then there are the ones that have been redone-"Jesus Lover of My Soul", "Jesus Paid it All", "On Jordan's Stormy Banks", "How Deep the Father's Love"-the list goes on and on and on.
I don't think I needed to say anything to this person-I think the look said it all. As Tiffany Hardin says, "Judgemental Eyes". I feel terrible and then I don't. I don't feel terrible for feeling this way about the great words of hymns past. How could you be a hymn-hater or an "Unlover of Hymns?"
There are some really great Contemporary Praise and Worship Songs out, but man, to totally discard the hymns?
I appreciate them now more than ever. I'm hearing them in church and for the most part they are the only songs that I know. I know the words I'm saying and when the choir sings-I can just close my eyes and visualize the words. It feels so good to be a hymn-lover.

Prayer Requests:

• Staff family members are afflicted with different things-viruses, cancer, homesickness, organ failure, etc.
• My Granny as she is dealing with her foot swelling again. She is not able to have an operation to correct this-so she has to deal with it as it comes and goes.
• Staff members waitign for visas: Aundrea and Michael Taylor and our newest teacher-Stephanie Downing :)
• Graduates of BIS-as they go to college (some are not saved but are deeply influenced by BIS)-some of them are going to Muslim communities to live while they attend college.
• Challenges of learning Portuguese (But I am learning)-praying for a Portuguese tutor.....
• A Youth Conference being held here Sept. 25-27th and the Outreaches that will take place before.
• Mary Wolford, as she is working with in orphanages and facilitating discipleship relationships with the people there!
• For lost relatives, friends, and students.

Praises:

• The dollar is strengthening! 1.72 today! (which is a praise-it makes our support go further)
• For my Supporters-THANK YOU!!!!! I appreciate your diligence :) Also-thank you to those who are new supporters :)
• For those whom are sent to me in the form of interpretors on Sunday morning. I pray so hard for this-I am attending a really phenomenal Sunday School class and they are so persistant in finding me an interpretor every single Sunday morning. I don't even have to ask-they just come. This is giving me a chance to meet different people and foster some amazing relationships.
• For my beautiful students-their beautiful character-and their amazing perspectives....I am so blessed to be here serving God.

confessions of a childhood fav. hymn and Hell.

Brethren, we have met to worship and adore the Lord our God;Will you pray with all your power, while we try to preach the Word?All is vain unless the Spirit of the Holy One comes down;Brethren, pray, and holy manna will be showered all around.
Brethren, see poor sinners round you slumbering on the brink of woe;Death is coming, hell is moving, can you bear to let them go?See our fathers and our mothers, and our children sinking down;Brethren, pray and holy manna will be showered all around.
Sisters, will you join and help us? Moses’ sister aided him;Will you help the trembling mourners who are struggling hard with sin?Tell them all about the Savior, tell them that He will be found;Sisters, pray, and holy manna will be showered all around.
Is there here a trembling jailer, seeking grace, and filled with tears?Is there here a weeping Mary, pouring forth a flood of tears?Brethren, join your cries to help them; sisters, let your prayers abound;Pray, Oh pray that holy manna may be scattered all around.
Let us love our God supremely, let us love each other, too;Let us love and pray for sinners, till our God makes all things new.Then He’ll call us home to Heaven, at His table we’ll sit down;Christ will gird Himself and serve us with sweet manna all around.

Ah, thank you Dr. Orrick for reminding me (some time ago) of this childhood favorite hymn and then Erito again leaving it on my facebook :)

In Sunday School we're studying about Hell:
A bit from Calvin:
But we must seek a surer explanation, apart from the Creed, of Christ’s descent into hell. The explanation given to us in God’s Word is not only holy and pious, but also full of wonderful consolation. If Christ had died only a bodily death, it would have been ineffectual. No — it was expedient at the same time for him to undergo the severity of God’s vengeance, to appease his wrath and satisfy his just judgment. For this reason, he must also grapple hand to hand with the armies of hell and the dread of everlasting death. f439
John Owen:
"Do you mortify? Do you make it your daily work? Be always at it whilst you live; cease not a day from this work; be killing sin or it will be killing you."
Jean-Paul Sartre:
"Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance."
"Existence precedes and rules essence."
"One always dies too soon or too late. And yet, life is there, finished: the line is drawn, and it must all be added up. You are nothing other than your life.

Oh Mr. Sartre.....I grieve much for those who are in that condition.

I was also reminded of the unfortunate circumstance of egocentrism-Man seeing God as his servant rather than the truth.
Oh-to recognize the truth and yet I wonder how we could forget?

To my father and anyone else...... I labored on this day.