confessions of sweetness....

I didn't realize that coming home could be so sweet. Christmas was so insane-I don't remember half of it and it seemed as if I did no one justice-as far as spending time with them. This time seems a little more slowly and I praise the Lord that I'm actually able to spend quality time with the people that I love so much.

Coming home means: sweet tea, tap water with lemon, fighting with my grown brothers, getting new pants (something i can't do in brazil), enjoying the ministry opportunities developing all around me, Mare, CrossPoint Baptist(ooohh how SWEET this has been and their diligence sooo encouraging!!), books, sweddish fish, peanut butter,

and the loathed question: "So, are you going to stay there?" I don't know. I can see myself fitting in either situation-doing ministry, loving others, continuing my education, seeking God.......there is a sutle tie for both places and I'm searching for the pros and cons of each. But then again, that is not the right attitude to have-but then again, I'm not really sure what attitude to have. The last time I asked God to clearly reveal something......He definitely gave me a clear answer.....months ahead of time. So-here I am. Pray for that.

confessions of the county fair (in Brasil...i think that is Festa Junina) and pancakes...

The "County Fair" is almost over and I thought I should write before too many things escape me-for I hope to write my next entry from the states. I learned many interesting things over the last few weeks. Ive learned how to control a classroom of 3-6 year olds and Ive watched 2 or 3 of them respond to Jesus. We learned how to pray, when to pray, and why we pray. They informed me that God has the internet and he is real big.
While I taught the fruit of the spirit-peace, patience, kindness, joy, and love, I was also learning these from my students. Particularly one that tested me both weeks. His parents put only that they wanted him to learn Biblical Principles.....and I understand why. His idea of telling someone nicely that he didnt like what they were saying is... ^Shut up^ in his "nice" voice. I really had to be intentional about everything that I did with this child. It just didnt come naturally. Again and again I would call his name, count to three, and wait for his response. He even told me that my face scared him (?-but he would sit in my lap, hang on me, persistantly be the one to hold my hand, etc) but then also told me several times that his dad scares him. And then told me that I wasnt scary and neither was his dad. The whole time I was wondering......is there some kind of psychology to this? or maybe I just needed to pray more? Eventually, he began to open up and I realized that he usually gets what he wants if he talks long enough about it. I didnt give in and that was different for him. Responding to his need for love was difficult because I didnt feel it was right to give in to his every demand. I had to show him in other ways that I loved him-like ignoring his cycle of ramblings about his snack, his dad, and other things. Yeah-it sounds mean-but after about 10-30 minutes of this-he began talking sense again, he did his work, and he communicated with the other kids. I am proud of him, his accomplishments, and the things he will take away from this summer camp. He knows about the Bible (Gods Book-he calls it), he knows how to pray, and why we pray. Truly a labor of love.......and it was worth every minute.

Pancakes may have to wait until I get back to the states. I shared a pancake dinner with two of my Brasilian friends on Tuesday. My dear sister Gabi and then our friend. It is amazing how someone can be so close to the truth and yet so very far at the same time. I see in him a genuine love for people that sees past any outward appearance and looks for the best in them. I am deeply saddened by his belief system and the way he feels about God. Sometimes it feels so unfair. More on this later.

Dear God. Thank you for giving me so many opportunities to show You in my life. I pray that I will recognize them and live them out every minute. I pray for these two sweet people that Ive grown to love so much. I pray that they will one day recognize You and love You. Please help them with any confusion in their minds. Thank you for showing me things through them. Amen.

confessions of the first week...

A sweet video of the 1st and 2nd grade doing one of our songs :)

Its Wednesday?! Already?! The days are not long enough seemingly to impact all of these students. I have 6 little guys (yes, guys) ranging from ages 3 to 6. Keeping up with them is fun and challenging. 4 of the 6 are from another school, 1 is from a brasilian school, and the other one went to BIS last year. It is different to see the impact that our school has on students. Our students seem to be more humble, compassionate, and treat others more like family. This transition doesnt happen immediately upon entering BIS, but the effects are noticeable after about a year. Our students have their moments of pettiness and being children, but it is quite different. I truly see the impact that God has in our school. He touches their lives and has chosen to impact this community with BIS. Our school isnt perfect-we may not have everything that other schools have, or all the latest equipment, and were still undergoing renovations---when it boils down to it....God is enough. He is using BIS to create these amazing citizens that are academically, spiritually, and socially successful. :) I miss my little guys SOOO very much and I cant wait to see what God holds for me next year. The new program is getting under way but we still arent sure of enrollment. Brasillians tend to wait until the last minute, so my what exactly I will be doing next year....will be in the air until the day school starts. I expect a lot of last minute transitions, extra jobs, and nothing will be as it should. But then, Ill realize that everything is as it should be. I know it will be hard, but God is so good in the hard things and has passed His amazing peace through me in so many of these situations. I just have to be a the vessel. I praise Him for I am fearfully and wonderfully made....made to do whatever He commands next year. :) I love you all. I will see most of you in about 9 days :)

Oh, heres a picture of Tito (Titus) and his amazing creations. He is studying to be a paleontologist!

confessions....of.....winter....or...wait...its summer...

sooooo...Summer Camp(VBS with an academic emphasis) starts next week!! My classroom is transformed into a sheep pen! The Lovable Lambs-complete with a tree, a sun, and a horse !

I have two students......both ESL.....and well...one of them will soon be ESL.....
he speaks only Portuguese as of yet.... Im guessing this is a little insight to how next year is going to work! Im excited to see what will happen and what God is going to do.
The short term missionaries are amazing-Im loving getting to know each of them! Gods truly blessed us with some great people willing to serve Him in whatever that looks like here!

Guess what?! Ill be home in exactly 14 days :) I cant wait to se all of you!!!

confessions of my first brasilian birthday party!

Look how precious?! I know my ramblings were just that-ramblings-in the last e-mail. I really love this sweet picture of them...they are not at all organized or posed just right....but they are themselves. And I love it.

You might wonder what I've been doing for the last several days. In between the sad goodbyes of departing staff, cleaning and organizing the mess in my classroom-God's been doings some amazing things......where to start.....

1. well, I'm coming home early-July 11th-I'll arrive! I also got a refund of 900 dollars in the mix of all that-which is pretty spectacular considering that the website says NO REFUNDS. Cheap O Air---for all your traveling needs! So-what was once a not so good, kind of bad situation....actually worked out in SOOO many ways.

2. Nicolàs passed his exams with FLYING COLORS!! It is to my understanding that he impressed the instructor and exceeded their expectations. Amen and Amen.

3. God really mended some relationships in my life over the last few weeks. He showed me how obedience is soooo important. I've been trying to make up for lost time with several new friends....before they permanently depart for the next venture in life.

4. I'm still computerless....and I'm reading books like crazy! Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers.......Im simply speechless about this one...

5. I'm 27! or 17! or 72! WHatever! I was surprised by a group of my closest Brasilian friends along with several of the teachers from BIS. :) Last night was a huge highlight-almost like a dream. I loved seeing them and getting to talk and hang out with them. They worked so hard to make everything come together....and I was totally and completely surprised. There is a place in my heart that grows every day for these people and their amazing love for me.

6. I found out my job for next year. I will be working with one of my best friends (Raquel) in the preschool program. We will offer a program for Brasilian 3\4 year olds. This program will be unique in that no other international or brasilian school has a portuguese/english speaker and a native english speaker for these classes. We will team teach through most subjects while specials will be completely in portuguese for the first little bit. Ill admit. I was "warned" that I would be doing something different next year....and I had a bit of a complaining heart about it. I really thought I would be teaching 4th grade. Which is fine....Im just more comfortable with younger kids and more creative spins on simple concepts :) When they called us in for the meeting-I was a bit smug and anxious about the new assignment...but confused about why they'd called the preschool teacher and portuguese teacher in as well. As Mr. Bose began his spill...I could feel a smile creep......and the excitement flash inside. I wouldnt have dreamed this in my wildest dreams.....and yet, its almost as if my dreams are coming true. I'll have the chance to work with an amazing teacher whom I love dearly, I'll be speaking more portuguese on a daily basis, and getting to work with Brasilians and International students alike. This vision will probably be tweaked and may not work out exactly the way we are thinking---but its gonna be amazing....I can feel it.....

Dear God, Thank you for listening.....and for helping me to understand that You are in control-that I need not worry about next year...next week....or tomorrow. Thank you for showing me how hopeless I am in my own thoughts sometimes and how weak my faith can be....and then showing me how amazing You are. I praise you for the blessings you've chosen to give me and the people that you've allowed me to know and love. Lord-for the people that have been a challenge to love...and a growing situation for me in this year--thank you for them. Thank you for knowing me, loving me, and giving me above the desires of my heart....in spite of what I am. Thank you for another year to serve you and for Brazil.

confessions of...the last day of school..

It almost does not seem real that this day is over...that this year is over. i could not cry today, but I can cry now. I miss my students and the reality is not yet here. I think in the weeks to come-I'll miss them a great deal. They are no longer mine. I am astounded by the passing of time and that this year is over. I cannot reiterate that enough-even to myself. I feel as if it should be Christmas and that I have so much more to teach them and so much love to give them. There's a special bond that comes about when you have 5 students-it's just very different than having 24. The bonds are so tight with each student and each student with the other. They truly treat each other like brothers and sister(s). They happen to be the most caring, sensitive, loving, and cool kids that I've ever met--all from different continents. One of my parents commented on our graduation picture....No two students even resemble each other in color-their skin is different, eyes are all different, their hair is different, their eyes are different....
I went through their monitoring folders yesterday and their growth made me smile. They've grown academically and most importantly spiritually. They are definitely asking questions about having a sinful heart and when asked about sin-they now answer, "we're sinful from birth" instead of the astounded looks I once received. :) Or-how they beg to review the previous verses.......and then proceed to tell me the meaning of the verse (as we did a small expository on each one when introduced). They are 5! God is so amazing.
Today, I received a handmade pair of earrings (which I LOVE), material from Zambia, my very own "Class of 2021" T-shirt :), and some reallllllly nice "Body Shop" stuff from the states :) But it did not compare to the hugs, smiles, love, and fun we had today. I just enjoyed them today. I wish they could come back to school to just play for the next 35 days---no lesson plans--just playing, crafts, fun, reading "No David" and "David Goes to School". Instead, they will be loving their friends in the States, in England, Zambia, and in Panama. Of course, Thales-will be loving the animals on the farm-his horse, his sheep (he says shep..and his mom tells me that they are actually goats). I think only a few will appreciate these ramblings.....but this is a blog and I'm spilling my heart.

confessions of technology

who knew that our dependency on technology is so heavy? I only realized this last week how much I really use my computer. Phoning home, email, photos, creating things, lesson plans, graduation programs, invitations, etc, etc.... I realized how much my life revolved around a 14 inch machine.
It's been rather nice in some ways-to not be able to surf whenever I want to or to even be able to type in a Word program for whatever need..... In other ways, it's been a nightmare. I've been forced to leave work at work every day and not leave work until I have everything accomplished (or with the hopes that it is accomplished). So-I apologize for the lack fo communicationi :) We think my hard drive has gone out...so, it might be a while! I'll blog when I can!