confessions....of.....winter....or...wait...its summer...

sooooo...Summer Camp(VBS with an academic emphasis) starts next week!! My classroom is transformed into a sheep pen! The Lovable Lambs-complete with a tree, a sun, and a horse !

I have two students......both ESL.....and well...one of them will soon be ESL.....
he speaks only Portuguese as of yet.... Im guessing this is a little insight to how next year is going to work! Im excited to see what will happen and what God is going to do.
The short term missionaries are amazing-Im loving getting to know each of them! Gods truly blessed us with some great people willing to serve Him in whatever that looks like here!

Guess what?! Ill be home in exactly 14 days :) I cant wait to se all of you!!!

confessions of my first brasilian birthday party!

Look how precious?! I know my ramblings were just that-ramblings-in the last e-mail. I really love this sweet picture of them...they are not at all organized or posed just right....but they are themselves. And I love it.

You might wonder what I've been doing for the last several days. In between the sad goodbyes of departing staff, cleaning and organizing the mess in my classroom-God's been doings some amazing things......where to start.....

1. well, I'm coming home early-July 11th-I'll arrive! I also got a refund of 900 dollars in the mix of all that-which is pretty spectacular considering that the website says NO REFUNDS. Cheap O Air---for all your traveling needs! So-what was once a not so good, kind of bad situation....actually worked out in SOOO many ways.

2. Nicolàs passed his exams with FLYING COLORS!! It is to my understanding that he impressed the instructor and exceeded their expectations. Amen and Amen.

3. God really mended some relationships in my life over the last few weeks. He showed me how obedience is soooo important. I've been trying to make up for lost time with several new friends....before they permanently depart for the next venture in life.

4. I'm still computerless....and I'm reading books like crazy! Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers.......Im simply speechless about this one...

5. I'm 27! or 17! or 72! WHatever! I was surprised by a group of my closest Brasilian friends along with several of the teachers from BIS. :) Last night was a huge highlight-almost like a dream. I loved seeing them and getting to talk and hang out with them. They worked so hard to make everything come together....and I was totally and completely surprised. There is a place in my heart that grows every day for these people and their amazing love for me.

6. I found out my job for next year. I will be working with one of my best friends (Raquel) in the preschool program. We will offer a program for Brasilian 3\4 year olds. This program will be unique in that no other international or brasilian school has a portuguese/english speaker and a native english speaker for these classes. We will team teach through most subjects while specials will be completely in portuguese for the first little bit. Ill admit. I was "warned" that I would be doing something different next year....and I had a bit of a complaining heart about it. I really thought I would be teaching 4th grade. Which is fine....Im just more comfortable with younger kids and more creative spins on simple concepts :) When they called us in for the meeting-I was a bit smug and anxious about the new assignment...but confused about why they'd called the preschool teacher and portuguese teacher in as well. As Mr. Bose began his spill...I could feel a smile creep......and the excitement flash inside. I wouldnt have dreamed this in my wildest dreams.....and yet, its almost as if my dreams are coming true. I'll have the chance to work with an amazing teacher whom I love dearly, I'll be speaking more portuguese on a daily basis, and getting to work with Brasilians and International students alike. This vision will probably be tweaked and may not work out exactly the way we are thinking---but its gonna be amazing....I can feel it.....

Dear God, Thank you for listening.....and for helping me to understand that You are in control-that I need not worry about next year...next week....or tomorrow. Thank you for showing me how hopeless I am in my own thoughts sometimes and how weak my faith can be....and then showing me how amazing You are. I praise you for the blessings you've chosen to give me and the people that you've allowed me to know and love. Lord-for the people that have been a challenge to love...and a growing situation for me in this year--thank you for them. Thank you for knowing me, loving me, and giving me above the desires of my heart....in spite of what I am. Thank you for another year to serve you and for Brazil.

confessions of...the last day of school..

It almost does not seem real that this day is over...that this year is over. i could not cry today, but I can cry now. I miss my students and the reality is not yet here. I think in the weeks to come-I'll miss them a great deal. They are no longer mine. I am astounded by the passing of time and that this year is over. I cannot reiterate that enough-even to myself. I feel as if it should be Christmas and that I have so much more to teach them and so much love to give them. There's a special bond that comes about when you have 5 students-it's just very different than having 24. The bonds are so tight with each student and each student with the other. They truly treat each other like brothers and sister(s). They happen to be the most caring, sensitive, loving, and cool kids that I've ever met--all from different continents. One of my parents commented on our graduation picture....No two students even resemble each other in color-their skin is different, eyes are all different, their hair is different, their eyes are different....
I went through their monitoring folders yesterday and their growth made me smile. They've grown academically and most importantly spiritually. They are definitely asking questions about having a sinful heart and when asked about sin-they now answer, "we're sinful from birth" instead of the astounded looks I once received. :) Or-how they beg to review the previous verses.......and then proceed to tell me the meaning of the verse (as we did a small expository on each one when introduced). They are 5! God is so amazing.
Today, I received a handmade pair of earrings (which I LOVE), material from Zambia, my very own "Class of 2021" T-shirt :), and some reallllllly nice "Body Shop" stuff from the states :) But it did not compare to the hugs, smiles, love, and fun we had today. I just enjoyed them today. I wish they could come back to school to just play for the next 35 days---no lesson plans--just playing, crafts, fun, reading "No David" and "David Goes to School". Instead, they will be loving their friends in the States, in England, Zambia, and in Panama. Of course, Thales-will be loving the animals on the farm-his horse, his sheep (he says shep..and his mom tells me that they are actually goats). I think only a few will appreciate these ramblings.....but this is a blog and I'm spilling my heart.

confessions of technology

who knew that our dependency on technology is so heavy? I only realized this last week how much I really use my computer. Phoning home, email, photos, creating things, lesson plans, graduation programs, invitations, etc, etc.... I realized how much my life revolved around a 14 inch machine.
It's been rather nice in some ways-to not be able to surf whenever I want to or to even be able to type in a Word program for whatever need..... In other ways, it's been a nightmare. I've been forced to leave work at work every day and not leave work until I have everything accomplished (or with the hopes that it is accomplished). So-I apologize for the lack fo communicationi :) We think my hard drive has gone out...so, it might be a while! I'll blog when I can!

mmm..confessions of Siao...

This was my first "big" field trip. Planning for 54 students, 6 chaperones, a big bus, a little bus, juice, crackers, cookies, popcorn, games, crafts, puzzles, and the list goes on. I really stressed about this one. I delegated responsibilites, had my meetings, and I just worried about it, prayed about it, and worked for several months to figure all of this out. Siao takes care of children who are living away from their parents for various reasons. They just recently went through a change in administration and this was a bit detrimental to several kids who chose to run away. It saddened my heart to hear that Jonas ran away......
We drove for about 45 minutes out of town and then turned onto a red dirt road that reminded me more of a dirt bike track complete with craters and tire busters all a long the way. But the corn and the wheat were so beautiful as they danced on the side of the road. It was picture perfect.
We played with the three students that were there and I got to share a little bit with the new director. He seems really nice and genuine, but we are being cautious. He talked about the projects that they want to cultivate and work on with us. We are trying to build a better relationship with them in order to plan more trips and to get our kids more involved there. I really have a heart for that place, for those kids, and for the workers. I just need to spend more time there. I confess that I was really busy transitioning everyone, setting up snack, giving things out, and taking pictures.......and it just went too fast. We only had one hour once we got there. Next time, I want to get special permission to stay all day! Our kids need more than one hour to socialize and love on these children.
Tonight we said goodbye to some of our favorites-The McNaughtons. I cannot express the sacrifices they've made for our school. The mom came in and tutored, gave resources, did some gardening, painted(when we first got to school), PAO presidentl......just to name a few. I didn't teach her children, but found ways to interact with them through clubs and through a little project with the high school students. They are amazing. Their parents thought it was only right for them to spend their last evening with their friends--so we went to eat at the mall. Of course, we know our kids are always playing some kind of game....and tonight they shared their "metro" game which included the metro car "driver" and some metro "security guards". Oh querida(o dear!). So-they decide that when the doors open (we all stood because there aren't many places for about 20 ppl to sit) that they would run out-touch the wall, and run back before th doors shut. This worked about two times.....on the third one......the doors seemed to shut a little quicker, and I'm sure it was followed by a stern warning. We love the new "closed circuit" video cameras and we don't disappoint the posters that say "Sorria (Smile)". And I will admit-everyone else on the car was smiling after some of the people got left behind. It was good to see their tired faces break into a "Sorria".
Tomorrow-dress shopping!

Please pray for my little ones! I only had 3 students for most of the week. James and Caleb have the "hand, foot, and mouth" virus! We missed them! Also continuous prayer for the Zambian families that will transition back to their home country this summer. Please pray for Nicolas as he undergoes testing in Panama(June 17th) for his new school (after Christmas). Pray for me as I receive my last evaluation on Monday, planning Graduation (June 6th), Senior Prom (May 29th), planning Field Day for PreK and K (June 4th), finishing the yearbook, and of course for a great finish to the year! Also-for a flexible spirit in whatever job they have for me here next year. I pray that I would be able to do all for the glory of God and that these things will not overwhelm me and that I would be strong in the Lord!

By the way-I only have about 24 more days of reading and then I will finish the Bible! I can't wait to turn around and start again. God's shown me some sweet things in the last 10 months-hit me again!

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confessions of emails.

I've come to realize a few things over the last couple of days. Fonts matter. The size of your text matters. Wording things simply matters. People can take your words however they want even when you try to be indifferent. Even when you are trying hard to just say what you want to say very simply. I've been a huge fan of emails up until now and because of the things that I've experienced-I no longer want to use it as a means of communication.

God, please humble me in the areas that I need to be humbled. Please break me in the places that I need to be broken. I admit-I am wayward, I have a temper, and I thank you for the verses that Your Word gives to me to deal with this. Please help me to apply grace where needed-especially as you grow me through the things that are not my fault. Please give me wisdom, understanding, grace, self control, and patience in dealing with these things. Words hurt so please help me turn to Your Words when these things come and try to avert my attention from what is pure, holy, and true.

confessions of......

Nahum 1:7
The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him.

A Stronghold. I've held tight to this scripture for several weeks and given it to several people as I see them struggle with certain things in their lives.

As I plan for Kindergarten graduation-the reality of next year keeps waving in my face. As usual and as with missions-nothing is certain.
I've recently received news that my friend, Anna, is suddenly leaving Venezuela (I believe) because of visa issues. In the midst of my unsurety and busy-ness, I praise God that I am here. In fact, I praise Him that He saw fit to call me here. I've had the best year possibly of my life-doing my dream job. But we aren't called to do our dream jobs. The qualifications of my dream job should state, "Serving Christ." Period. Everytime I want to complain-I simply cannot because it is a privilege to be here.
So-you're probably wondering what all of this is about. I was basically told that I should be prepared to teach something different next year. We have no preschool students enrolled and only 1 Kindergarten student for next year. I found out that my favorite Zambian is in limbo about whether or not she will come back for 1st grade next year :( There is a lot of that going on right now. Embassies are telling them what to expect for next year and it is becoming a reality for many of our students that their home countries may be the reality. Or it could be that as a family moves back to the states a father is going to Iraq or that a Zambian mother will return to Brazil without her son and family. This is the harsh reality of an International Community. I am so blessed to have met so many amazing people, but I am grieving them already.

We have exactly 100 days to double the pre-enrollment numbers. He has been teaching me a lot about faith and prayer . Faith in prayer. Several times I thought some things were just too much..... And did He show me!

Whatever God has for me is going to be amazing. He will be glorified.

Thank You for Your unfailing love. For being a Stronghold and for continuing to show me what that means. Please continue to humble me in this way. Thank you for all my beautiful friends and students. Help me to love them and help them transition into whatever is happening in their lives. I pray for wisdom and understanding in this-even with my 5 year olds. I pray for BIS and the need for new students.