mmm..confessions of Siao...

This was my first "big" field trip. Planning for 54 students, 6 chaperones, a big bus, a little bus, juice, crackers, cookies, popcorn, games, crafts, puzzles, and the list goes on. I really stressed about this one. I delegated responsibilites, had my meetings, and I just worried about it, prayed about it, and worked for several months to figure all of this out. Siao takes care of children who are living away from their parents for various reasons. They just recently went through a change in administration and this was a bit detrimental to several kids who chose to run away. It saddened my heart to hear that Jonas ran away......
We drove for about 45 minutes out of town and then turned onto a red dirt road that reminded me more of a dirt bike track complete with craters and tire busters all a long the way. But the corn and the wheat were so beautiful as they danced on the side of the road. It was picture perfect.
We played with the three students that were there and I got to share a little bit with the new director. He seems really nice and genuine, but we are being cautious. He talked about the projects that they want to cultivate and work on with us. We are trying to build a better relationship with them in order to plan more trips and to get our kids more involved there. I really have a heart for that place, for those kids, and for the workers. I just need to spend more time there. I confess that I was really busy transitioning everyone, setting up snack, giving things out, and taking pictures.......and it just went too fast. We only had one hour once we got there. Next time, I want to get special permission to stay all day! Our kids need more than one hour to socialize and love on these children.
Tonight we said goodbye to some of our favorites-The McNaughtons. I cannot express the sacrifices they've made for our school. The mom came in and tutored, gave resources, did some gardening, painted(when we first got to school), PAO presidentl......just to name a few. I didn't teach her children, but found ways to interact with them through clubs and through a little project with the high school students. They are amazing. Their parents thought it was only right for them to spend their last evening with their friends--so we went to eat at the mall. Of course, we know our kids are always playing some kind of game....and tonight they shared their "metro" game which included the metro car "driver" and some metro "security guards". Oh querida(o dear!). So-they decide that when the doors open (we all stood because there aren't many places for about 20 ppl to sit) that they would run out-touch the wall, and run back before th doors shut. This worked about two times.....on the third one......the doors seemed to shut a little quicker, and I'm sure it was followed by a stern warning. We love the new "closed circuit" video cameras and we don't disappoint the posters that say "Sorria (Smile)". And I will admit-everyone else on the car was smiling after some of the people got left behind. It was good to see their tired faces break into a "Sorria".
Tomorrow-dress shopping!

Please pray for my little ones! I only had 3 students for most of the week. James and Caleb have the "hand, foot, and mouth" virus! We missed them! Also continuous prayer for the Zambian families that will transition back to their home country this summer. Please pray for Nicolas as he undergoes testing in Panama(June 17th) for his new school (after Christmas). Pray for me as I receive my last evaluation on Monday, planning Graduation (June 6th), Senior Prom (May 29th), planning Field Day for PreK and K (June 4th), finishing the yearbook, and of course for a great finish to the year! Also-for a flexible spirit in whatever job they have for me here next year. I pray that I would be able to do all for the glory of God and that these things will not overwhelm me and that I would be strong in the Lord!

By the way-I only have about 24 more days of reading and then I will finish the Bible! I can't wait to turn around and start again. God's shown me some sweet things in the last 10 months-hit me again!

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confessions of emails.

I've come to realize a few things over the last couple of days. Fonts matter. The size of your text matters. Wording things simply matters. People can take your words however they want even when you try to be indifferent. Even when you are trying hard to just say what you want to say very simply. I've been a huge fan of emails up until now and because of the things that I've experienced-I no longer want to use it as a means of communication.

God, please humble me in the areas that I need to be humbled. Please break me in the places that I need to be broken. I admit-I am wayward, I have a temper, and I thank you for the verses that Your Word gives to me to deal with this. Please help me to apply grace where needed-especially as you grow me through the things that are not my fault. Please give me wisdom, understanding, grace, self control, and patience in dealing with these things. Words hurt so please help me turn to Your Words when these things come and try to avert my attention from what is pure, holy, and true.

confessions of......

Nahum 1:7
The Lord is good, a stronghold in the day of trouble; he knows those who take refuge in him.

A Stronghold. I've held tight to this scripture for several weeks and given it to several people as I see them struggle with certain things in their lives.

As I plan for Kindergarten graduation-the reality of next year keeps waving in my face. As usual and as with missions-nothing is certain.
I've recently received news that my friend, Anna, is suddenly leaving Venezuela (I believe) because of visa issues. In the midst of my unsurety and busy-ness, I praise God that I am here. In fact, I praise Him that He saw fit to call me here. I've had the best year possibly of my life-doing my dream job. But we aren't called to do our dream jobs. The qualifications of my dream job should state, "Serving Christ." Period. Everytime I want to complain-I simply cannot because it is a privilege to be here.
So-you're probably wondering what all of this is about. I was basically told that I should be prepared to teach something different next year. We have no preschool students enrolled and only 1 Kindergarten student for next year. I found out that my favorite Zambian is in limbo about whether or not she will come back for 1st grade next year :( There is a lot of that going on right now. Embassies are telling them what to expect for next year and it is becoming a reality for many of our students that their home countries may be the reality. Or it could be that as a family moves back to the states a father is going to Iraq or that a Zambian mother will return to Brazil without her son and family. This is the harsh reality of an International Community. I am so blessed to have met so many amazing people, but I am grieving them already.

We have exactly 100 days to double the pre-enrollment numbers. He has been teaching me a lot about faith and prayer . Faith in prayer. Several times I thought some things were just too much..... And did He show me!

Whatever God has for me is going to be amazing. He will be glorified.

Thank You for Your unfailing love. For being a Stronghold and for continuing to show me what that means. Please continue to humble me in this way. Thank you for all my beautiful friends and students. Help me to love them and help them transition into whatever is happening in their lives. I pray for wisdom and understanding in this-even with my 5 year olds. I pray for BIS and the need for new students.

confessions of kinza....

So, I had the opportunity to hang out with one of our students this weekend. My Brasilian sister, Gabi invited us to a production of "Grease" put on by her school (a school to learn English). They did an awesome job and it was cool to see their take on it.

Afterward, we went to lunch and it started to POUR the rain. (I actually froze......and it was probably about 50 degrees....I was dreaming of a warm sweater that day). Anyhow, I began to ask Kinza about her life, where she lived, and somehow got on the topic of marriage. I happen to be fascinated with marriages/weddings in other cultures. So, it opened up a door for her to tell me about "Love Marriages" and "Arranged Marriages". Wow. Somehow I didn't know that that even existed in the Eastern point of view. But it does. She explained that the weddings typically take place for about a week. Both sides of the family sponsor different celebrations or steps to the final ceremony. The families also have to give money to the other family and the bride's parents have to buy all of her appliances, electronics, etc just in case something happened to their marriage or to the husband. It is legal for them to have up to four wives at a time. They can be married as many times as they want-but only four at a time. To which Kinza said that her father only had one.....I think because one was enough! The man can divorce any time that he wants by saying a single word three times (can't remember the word), but the woman can never divorce. She can also never remarry once she is divorced.

An arranged marriage can be between families like with cousins or between family friends. Engagement is usually short--2 to 3 months. You cannot date before (but they do now as new trends are trickling in) and I asked her, "What if you are dating(secretly) and in love but your parents arrange a marriage for you?" and she said, "Well, your parents are going to be really mad!" But, she didn't know anyone who was in that situation. I asked her if she had an arranged marriage and she said, "Nope." Many people ask her about this and her father says to tell them that marriage is not two people getting married, but two families. Many times the families live together for the rest of their lives. The new bride goes to the husband's house (if he is the caregiver of his parents) and they will live them from then on. (I was just imagining some and their in-laws.)....

Kinza is an amazing person. She is Muslim and yet, she participates with us, goes on our retreats, and hears the gospel over and over again. Next year she will graduate at 16 and go to college-possibly in Canada......I'm praying the BIS impacts her and that she will be saved.

On the other note-we had Science Fair...which I was dreading a little bit. I had several great projects but I just wasn't feeling it. We ended up putting eggs in vinegar and watching the acid eat the shells. It was cool, but I was DONE by the end! I really liked hanging out with the parents, watching my students run between my room and the preschool room, and taking pictures of the enjoyment. Basically, we hosted a social event :) Which is fine! Some parents we would never see if we didn't have some required events like this one. So-Success!

Steph and I rented a car this weekend to run around---and I forgot truly what that was like...to be able to go and get something to eat or to just get up and go somewhere even in the pouring rain! Or to go to Pontao and take pictures. To be able to pick up people, build relationships through meeting and giving them rides-it was really great! A sweet weekend!

confessions of ....qualifica(equipping), justifica(justification), corresi(correction), santifica(sanctification), e fortalece(fortifies)

Well, another Brasilian adventure for the books.

My roommate, Stephanie, and I went to camp this weekend with our Brasilian friends and my sisters :) They so graciously translated and helped us out. I was really impressed with the camp pastor as well as our pastor. Several things happened that reinforced what the camp pastor was preaching which showed that our youth pastor practiced true humility. It was a time of God being glorified in something that was not so great. The weekend turned out completely different than I thought....and God taught me some amazing things.
We learned that the Word of God-equips, justifies, corrects, fortifies, and sanctifies. mm. good stuff.
AND-we also learned that when 1 bus breaks down-all 4 stay together. :) It was a great lesson in sticking together and Brasilians-they wait on EVERYBODY :) and they know how to wait well-playing games, "social", charades, contently, happily, and amazingly. 200 people....waiting....for 4 1/2 hours-no dinner, no water... I really love these lessons because I'm really feeling the "community" aspect of living. No one-is left behind. I love it.

Today, Steph and I started an after school decoupage club and got to build some relationships with some of the girls at our school :) Little do they know......yearbook is about to take over the club......



and....I got up at 4:45 this morning to run. And....I fell. :) I love falling by myself.....because then I don't have to jump up like it didn't happen. :)

More to come.....just thought i would update you.

Thank you God for your Son, Jesus. I pray that every day will be like Easter to me in hopes that I will remember the price and the ultimate defeat over death. Thank you for showing Yourself in every aspect of this camp experience. Even when I didn't think You could get the glory-You knew and You did.
Obrigada Pai.

confessions of crepes and lestani's both sweet and amazing...

Yesterday I received this e-mail from the Lestani's.....I was a little nervous because my parents generally communicate through the agenda. Nicolas had a minor accident on the playground this week...and I was so scared. BUT-it was an invitation to ice cream and crepes!!! YAY! I wanted to race around! I've grown to really love this family. Nicolas is just amazing and 1/5 of the amazingness that walks into my classroom every single day. Everything really worked out so cool. Mom went with us and she ended up keeping the kids occupied while the Lestani's and I were talking. They shared about their lives and then asked me, "Ms. Bolin, where will you go after Brasil?" PERFECT! Amazing! So-I began to tell them that it was totally up to God and that He had done so many things to get me here this year. Then, it opened up the door for me to give my testimony and tell them how God captured me and changed my life. It was completely amazing. They asked questions, they wanted to know what was so different and so many things. They asked me about what denomination I was which opened up the door for me to tell them which church I go to here in Brasilia...and how phenomenal it is. How great the people are ....etc. :) Just an amazing opportunity. I never dreamed it would go as well as it did. I continue to pray for their family. They informed me that they will continue to go to our school until December when they will move. She said, "Can you teach first grade? Any chance?" :) I don't know what the chances are but I know that Nicolas will get 6 more months of Bible, BIS, and love from all the people here sent specifically by God to work with him. I stand amazed.

Thank you God for your amazing Grace. For your intense love for us-just a human. But you chose us, you love us, and you provide for us. I stand here feeling so inadequate but yet you allow me to be used. Please help me put my flesh aside. Thank you for Jesus and for the cross. Thank you for the Lestani's.

confessions of Thing 1 and Thing 2

chaos. I was really afraid of that on Friday. Reading Month was ending-Thing 1 and Thing 2 were coming out to cause trouble on our campus. I can only imagine what this looked like to the Brasilians passing along the back lot. About 100 English speakers shouting, throwing water balloons, playing in the soap soccer, swimming in the puddles, and making sand castles on the volleyball court. This is what I was afraid of? Wow-this fear turned out really well. Why is it that some things we should be afraid of and aren't while others we are too afraid of and shouldn't be? What is it that tears us up? Nao sei. (I don't know).

Mom finished her last work day with us watching everyone get soaked and getting plowed by several water balloons. :) The kids loved her and she loved them. I think she REALLY misses my dad. I think this is the longest they've been apart maybe in their lives? Hmmm, and he just can't stand it...I can hear it in his voice the other night. I asked him when he was going to come and visit us. Haha. She's been a super blessing to the school and to me this month. We were asked to "ice cream"tomorrow by Nicolas and his parents :) So-that will be kind of interesting. I don't know that I've ever been out with "parents" before. Just another aspect of the Christian School that is kind of amazing.....

The day was completely perfect and worked out by God. He orchestrated everything to be just right.....in so many little things. The kids weren't so disappointed with all the changes we made from last year.....and I loved sitting in the big rain puddles that God provided. We played in the water, the sand, took off our shoes, and everyone was safe. Thank you, God. :)
It was the best day of school so far. We were to dress up as what we wanted to be when we grew up. Well, I am what I wanted to be....exactly. Funny how that works out..... But I would also like to be a Seminary student-so I threw on my Southern shirt, packed my Systematic Theology and my ESV study bible, jeans, and tennis shoes..... But now, I realize---does Southern have a dress code or have I lost my mind? Anyway....it was a perfect way to dress down a bit.

In my reading-I'm in 1 Chronicles, Joshua, Hosea, and Ezekiel. I'm loving Joshua and I'm just starting the others. :) Mmmm..thanks Mare for the ESV study bible......it really connects a lot of things and helps me to understand how it all goes together-especially with all the kings, their mothers, their territories, sons, etc etc...and the tribes-their land, their daughters, sons, cities,, etc..... Thanks again!

I've also been thinking of betrayal. What should we do about that? I think about Jesus and the way he confronted Judas. But in that, Jesus was paying for all our sins. So=do I have any reason to avenge a betrayer? Big or small? Nope. It has already been avenged. Pray for them, pray that their hearts will be changed. Pray that you can love them more despite their faults so that Christ is glorified in your actions. Easier said than done....but we are commanded to love.

Joshua 1:9Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go.

Thank you God for so many things. Thank you for keeping my students safe and providing an amazing day for them. Your amazing hands work calmly in the midst of what we perceive as chaos. Thank you for calming my mind and allowing me to see how vengeance is not mine. Thank you for your Son, your only Son that took the vengeance for those sins and all of mine.