confessions of "Indescribeable"

These are my pastors :)

Pastor Obedes

Pastor Ithamar or "Mazinho" haha.

Pastor Marcos Antionio

Well, Louie Giglio hit Brasilia this weekend. Well, not Louie himself, but one of my pastors went to a conference in Hawaii and heard this song. He began to translate and work out some details for about three months. This past Sunday night.....we were all floored. The screen showed us moving through the atmosphere, planets, stars, etc while the full praise team lead the song. It was dark and the visual was amazing in itself. I felt as big as I am so tiny....and realized again how big God is. How much He loves us and yet spins the universe, better than that-created it.

I realized that 99% of these people would be hearing this song for the first time and I began to look around. Wow. They were amazed and awestruck. Then, just when it couldn't get any better-on one of the last rounds of "You are amazing God"-a trumpet and saxophone resounded from the balcony behind us. I've heard this song a hundred times and this time was so sweet. mmm maybe it is because I love these people, their language, and I'm so thankful for the the amazing things God is showing me through them and my time here with them.

I also had a chance to go an end of the barbecue or translated "churrasco". Of course the food was amazing, the fellowship was awesome, I got to eat mangos off the ground, and I got to sit on top of this amazing little building and watch the rains roll in.

updated confessions...

This week is crawling by and it is driving me crazy.
As much as I want to forget last week-the reminders are coming every single day.
The parents informed me that they are considering the other American school (non-Christian) for their children. They also asked me to write a letter of recommendation to which I took to my boss and he is taking care of that situation. I really love this family-lost and yet so loving. It is amazing how one event-can change everything.
Also-because of this incident, we've been reported to the Department of Education here in Brazil. We aren't sure how they found out but it could have been through the hospital (kind of like social services) where the student was taken. It keeps getting bigger and bigger. I know God is in control-I'm just praying for our administration. They've taken a lot of blows for the school this semester. I tell you about being reported because there is a chance that they could delay our opening after we return from Christmas break.

Something good: I had an awesome time building some Brasilian relationships this weekend! My church family is becoming more and more like family as well as some of the young people at another church. One of my pastors says, "You are not a visitor, you are family. We will be waiting for you." I also signed up for the Sunday School class on Calvinism-which I'm really excited about. One of my friends will translate and it will be cool to have someone to discuss this topic with.

So-I have much to look forward to and yet I will probably be missing 1/5 of my class when I return. I rest in the haven of prayer as I am heavily troubled and tired by the events. I am encouraged by the quiet times I'm having and in knowing that I'll be removed from this situation for a short time. Delivered into the arms of love in 6 1/2 more days.

confessions of a miracle....

Today, I have a lot to be thankful for. Maybe more than I ever have.
I was reminded today just exactly how much I love my students. How much I cherish
each little growing personality, character, and spiritual life.
One of my sweet children was injured in an accident in the bathroom due
to a malfunction of the bathroom stall. You may be thinking-oh that is not bad....
well, we have solid marble bathroom stalls here. So, as one student closed the door,
the whole front panel came crashing down on another student. I was within view of the bathroom and the visual that I have will be forever etched in my mind. Unfortunately-I
can't shake this like an etchasketch.
It took three adults to remove the door from the student and to take him out.
I'll never forget his little face. I felt sure that he had internal injuries, broken bones, a concussion-all of that. I assured the other students that it would be okay-lined them up against the wall, and ran off to the office (there was another teacher present). I realized immediately the impact this would have on the school and on the student. This isn't something that is our fault, but it just adds to the overwhelming trials that keep showing themselves as we end this semester. I should thank God for the trials but it is extremely difficult when you have a
traumatizing visual to precede and follow those thoughts.
The school nurse checked him out, applied band-aids and ice to his very minor injuries, and said that everything on the outside was fine. I am a bit relieved but am reminded that I have to write up an incident report and call his mother. We felt like it would be a good idea for him to get an x-ray as well. All of that was okay, but I began to dread the incident report. I knew that I could not describe in enough detail what I had seen. I also knew that they would ask us to show them what happened. And they did. The reactions were predictable.
I experienced a miracle, grace of God-all of that today. I could feel Him working all around me, listening to my silent prayers, and so many things. The doctor called to say that he is fine. He has no broken bones, and no internal injuries. We are all looking at each other as to say, "How is that possible? Thank you, God!" I am shown God's amazing strength and the things He can do. I know He is getting the Glory from all the staff (especially the ones who lived this thing out) and now-we are just praying for the parents. We know they are from a Catholic background-but we do not really know where their hearts are spiritually.
There are many complications that could go with this incident-please pray for our school, for our staff, and for me as we all deal with this and the other problems mentioned below.
I love you guys.
I will see you in 12 1/2 days.

confessions of.....

Many of you know that our little school turned into a big school at the beginning of this year. We've overcome many things while enduring construction noises, construction workers. . . . , new surroundings, flooding, etc. These things taught us to be patient, to lean and love on one another more, and to have faith that God's plan is unfolding before our eyes.

We recently concluded Phase I Renovations to our new campus. This did not come without some added difficulties and just Satan really trying to tear us up. Try as he may-God gave us steadfast hearts and some amazing encouragements during this hardship. He gave us all peace to do our jobs and be amazing for our students. His grace in our attitudes kept everything rolling and most of them without a clue what was happening.

Once through that storm, seemingly, it was over. On Tuesday, our administration was informed that definitely there is a single and a family here illegally. Their visas expired and the government will not renew their original volunteer visas. My roommate shared that she has until the 19th (our last day of school) and then whether or not she will come back will be contigent on her receiving a tourist visa as she returns home for the Christmas holiday.
She shared that she is just not ready to do that-to say her good-byes in two weeks. She also has a boyfriend here and he is one of our co-workers. They are really close (like Tyler and Marie for those of you who know them...).
The other family includes a wife and three children. The three children all go to BIS and Bob teaches several high school courses. His wife shared this with me yesterday:
"it is funny that we agonize over what he wants us to do as we"wait for an answer" not realizing that the "nothing" we experience is part of his answer. "

The air around school was pretty somber this morning as the rest of the staff found out in a meeting. Amazingly enough, we walked out of the room encouraged and knowing that God is definitely in control. We understand that He is not lost in this-as scary and unbelievable as it may seem. I am so thankful for that. It is hard not to fast forward in my mind as to what it is going to be like without them. We are praying for mercy and just wisdom for us all-as we wait for our principal to get back into Brazil and as we inform the parents. This would cause 2nd grade to become 1st/2nd split as well as an administrator coming in to teach Bob's History, Computer, and Geography courses. Please pray for our staff as God unfolds this plan. Pray that we are bold to step up when help is needed and that we are diligently praying for the people involved in this sudden change. Please pray that they will have a peaceful Christmas and that God would draw them closer and closer to Himself as the events unfold.


It's been a weird week for us all.....
I've been battling allergies and sinus problems, my kids have been animals (: , and one of them passed out (literally) on top of me today. I flashed back to (my brother) Andy's seizure a couple Christmas' ago. I don't think I can talk about it right now.... thank the Lord-he is fine. I was so tired by the end of the day that when the kids suggested a second nap at 1:45-I agreed and let them lay down again. I love them so much-I mean-I really love them. I wake up every morning looking forward to teaching, loving, and giving them my best every single day. Even today-when it felt like I had a concrete block in my head-I knew I couldn't miss. What if the sub didn't know our "evens" cheer? or our "Daily ABC/123 Workout? I HATED the fact that someone else would be teaching my kids. So-to answer that question for you Jenn....that's what you do when you need a sub-you think about it...and then you just go. :) The funny thing is that it would be someone pretty close to the kids-an administrator, the preschool teacher, or someone who is consistently at school. And I still worry about them :) They are so independent now-they change the Classroom helpers themselves every day, along with line order, and getting the attendance sheet. This probably means nothing to you-but it is completely amazing to see them ask for and take responsibility. :)
we have a website :) www.msbolinsbees.com pictures for those who really love to see them :)

Love from Brazil for 18 1/2 more days.

confessions of thanksgiving....

I have a ton to be thankful for.....

Let's see - the stillness of this moment...and then the wind SLAMMING the door...I almost fell out of the hammock.

Or, let's talk about the total "TommyBoy" moment I had last week. I stopped at the store to get a few things before work one morning which caused me to catch the late bus. No problems with the bus-just a little later than I ever want to be there and I'm by myself. So-I cross one stream of traffic and make it to the median (which is like a parking lot) and proceed to head across the other stream of traffic..... but somehow as I proceeded-I was stopped by sudden tripping over the cracked sidewalk. Normally this wouldn't be funny but today-oh yes. By this time the morning traffic was flowing pretty heavily and there were tons of buses all around-not to mention the light turning green for the oncoming traffic to come straight toward me as I fell into the far lane of traffic. 10 seconds later and I would have been hit or I would have hit a car (that would have been amusing...can you imagine the driver?). Not only do I fall but my backpack goes FLYING over my head and for a split second I think---yes, this is funny to a couple hundred people and I think I actually chuckled at the scenes in my head. Falling is funny sometimes. I was up in about 6 seconds and out of the way. I'm sure you could imagine my prayers of thankfulness for the last two blocks of my trek.

Hmm, I'm thankful for the beautiful relationships here. I have several Brasilian friends that make my job completely amazing :) Rebeca is the secretary and her mom calls me her "American daughter" in which I love. They are such a precious family to me. Rebeca's sister, Gabi, is also amazing. She could be one of the best translators I've ever had. Truly a servant using God's gifts. She never fails to go with me on Saturday nights and I'll be eternally thankful to her for this.

And then there's Raquel. Hmm, servanthood. Her attitude is positive, encouraging, and loving. She has a way with the students in which is a mystery to me. She's like a mother hen-they all just follow her-no matter what age. We are different and yet-we work so well together. We've shared a classroom two times this year and basically team taught. I'll forever look up to her. God uses her to teach me something new.....almost every day!

She also invited me to go to church at IPN-a place where I've fallen in love with God's people and their diligence to the Word of God. I'm truly amazed! I believe that I'm going to the best church in Brasilia!

Story of the week:

So one of my students has a problem with some of his underwear.....I mean-a real problem. I don't know if they are just a bit uncomfortable or ....what, but on one occasion I recovered them from the garbage can. This was a huge deal as I ended up calling his mom to confirm that the lizard camoflauge undies were his...ahh. Well, I thought he was over doing that until yesterday---I hear this loud giggling and someone yell, "Ahh, UNDERWEAR in the sink!" "Who left their underwear in the bathroom?" I went to calm them down and I knew immediately whose they were. I looked over and he shook his head no. The other little boys kept on and on about this matter......and finally he said,"WHOSE GOING THROUGH THE TRASH!!"

I love it when they tell on themselves. Better yet, I love writing in the agenda, "I don't think he is very fond of the underwear he was wearing yesterday-we found them in the bathroom." Ah. Kindergarten. I don't know that I'll ever have a class quite like them.

More to come.....

I'm also thankful for my Mom whose love endured many hard years of raising me and even some years of distant hellos. I love that she is serving God in Cuba this Thanksgiving. :)

Three of our five family members will be overseas all at the same time in just a few days. Sharing God. Thank you to the people who help make that possible-for obeying the convictions of your heart and for giving. It is a truly a privilege and I recognize it as just that. "He doesn't need me but He chooses to use me." I'm thankful. Thank you, God.

Hey everyone! Whew! Just got in from an action packed weekend! Probably one of the most back to back "new" experience weekends I'll have here in Brasil (I can spell it that way, right, I live here....)




First, I went to Hillsong-a free (with a donation of a kilo of food) concert. It was really cool to see so many people singing the same Hillsong favorites "Mighty to Save" "Worthy is the Lamb" there were others such as "Shout to the Lord".... We got there at 6 and waited until 10pm for Hillsong to come on. It is always in true Brasilian fashion to be late-fashionably and unfashionably :) I relearn that every single day.









Next, I attended my first Brasilian wedding! The BIS Secretary from last year got married on Saturday. She had an evening wedding that I wore a prom-like dress (no kidding). My informant told me that weddings are a BIG DEAL! And she was right-most people were dressed-not in their Sunday best-but their formal finest! Some were dressed semi-formal--but it was really nice! The power went off in the middle of the ceremony-so that was interesting. Cake, Guarana, water, and Coke were served to us (we stood at the reception) along with chocolate "bon bons".




Some Brasilian wedding stats:

• it is common for the Bride and Groom to sing to each other during the ceremony.....Tayana and her husband did--as she was walking down the isle. Quite amazing she could hold that together-that would never fly in the us!
• the bride is ALWAYS at least 30 minutes late....more common that she is later than that.....we waited for 1 hour!
• the bridesmaids and groomsmen come down the isle but then sit on the front pew. Typically the parents sit up on stage.
• Usually there is a "fake" cake that is made or "rented"-it is absolutely beautiful but not eaten.....(different, huh!)
• The bride 9 times out of 10 rents her dress. She can pay a lot of money to have the "first wear" of a dress that she gets designed for her wedding-but it will still be rented. They can pay up to 2,000 reals for a "rented" wedding dress. insane-right? but then-they don't have it rotting in their closets.
• sometimes the weddings start at like 7:30-8:00; the reception starts about 10pm, and they dance and celebrate until wee hours of the morning. These weddings are usually very expensive and the hosts will buy guests a pair of haviana flip flops (around 14-20 reals) to dance in.

Amazing!

Last, I attended a camp with the Youth (ages 18-35) from the Igreja Presbyterian Nacional (the church I regularly attend) and it was amazing! I'm building relationships, loving these people, and watching their cultural norms unfold before my eyes. I'm doing a lot of observing and trying to figure out what to say when EVERYONE asks, "So, how is your Portuguese?" This is really a blessing---but it is still very hard for me to think of things to say to them. I get really embarrassed because I don't know all the rules and if I just say anything-it ends up being SOO wrong or really funny. As much as I like to laugh and joke (and be joked with)-I really hate getting laughed at because of my Portuguese. It does not come very natural to me yet and therefore makes it difficult to think of things to say when put on the spot. So-I am challenged to study and make a better effort. People are no longer allowing me to speak English (which is truly a blessing-I promise) and I praise God for this push to try harder.

I'm running again...and I hate it. Running clothes get on my nerves....once I ignore the fact that they are going to ride up or fall down---it is sweet and I end up organizing thoughts, relaxing, and pondering the hard things of the day. So-it's therapeutic and that is the only thing that keeps me going back.....because I truly detest it.

In my Bible reading-I should be through the whole Bible by May 25th. This is if I read 5 chapters a day (I read one chapter from 5 books every day). Lately, I've been in Leviticus, Psalm, Isaiah, John, and 2 Thessalonians(sp.) It is so sweet how sometimes 3 and 4 of these books will line up and talk about the same things-even with my random way of going through the Bible. Just another awesome wonder of God :)

I miss you guys! I will be home in about 35 DAYS! I can't believe it! I've already filled my Itunes classroom playlist with my favorite Christmas HYMNS and of course David Crowder's Feliz Navidad. I've decided that it is okay to start this early because they don't celebrate Thanksgiving (only our BIS staff)--so we're gonna do Christmas for like a month!! It's kind of hard though since I'm used to sipping on hot chocoloate, bundling up in a blanket, fighting with my grandparents over the thermostat, and of course Thanksgiving all building up to Christmas. I think many of my plans for the next month include my bathing suit.....so....it won't feel like Christmas until I hug my parents and my nose begins to run in the 30 degree weather :)

Prayer Requests

• Taylors and Stephanie Downing-Visas and prep to come (hopefully early Jan.)
• Our staff has been asked to make resignations as soon as possible in order to begin recruiting early (because of the visa process)-so there is a little stress going around about that.
• My sending church, CrossPoint Baptist-they purchased land a few months ago and still greet many guests on a weekly basis. Last Sunday they had 50 guests! How Cool! Pray for their Outreach ministry and what to do with all the new faces!! They also have an awesome College Ministry that keeps growing and growing!!!
• For my students and their families during the Christmas season. We will put on a Christmas program that is required for all students and most families will attend :) This is a great way to share and show the Gospel!
• For our school. We JUST finished Phase I of renovations. We are encountering some opposition in different areas and it is vital that we stay on our knees, humbled, and seeking God in all areas of our lives and in this school.
• For our principal, Scott Bose
• For the ministry opportunities that I've encountered and will be involved very soon!!

confessions of Gadsby's Hymnal

As I was looking for some new music this weekend-I stumbled across Red Mountain Church (of Birmingham, AL) and their "Gadsby Project" to which I quickly became a bit enamored. I quickly decided that I wanted the "Help My Unbelief" album. I've found many encouragements in this beautiful collection. I have even added Gadsby's Hymnal to my Christmas Wishlist.

I think all of us struggle with some form of a past sin whether it be hidden, confessed, or repented (or maybe all three)-and I had a conversation this week that basically said, "My unbelief is my stronghold". About 30 minutes later, I realized that this is so true. Our unbelief is the stronghold. It's not that God doesn't have the power to heal us-it is simply our unbelief-our flesh, this earth, and maybe our deep condemnation.



William Gadsby was a Baptist minister from a poor background and as a child he went to a hanging. It is said that this ghastly sight forever "preyed upon his mind" in terms of eternity. I think of this and how the spectacles of our lives prey upon our minds. These things should drive us to share the gospel-through our words and lives with others. We should be haunted by the eternity of others-to be forever sharing our eternal perspective with others. I can confess that I'm not impacted by that enough.



He ministered for 38 years at St. George's Road Baptist Chapel and traveled 60,000 mostly by foot to preach the Gospel. In 1938, he and his son, John, started a magazine called "Gospel Magazine" which is still in print.



Ol' Gadsby must have been a force to be reckoned with at his time. I think he would have been a modern day Mark Driscoll-very practical, truthful, shocking, convicting, and seen as crazy. I can see that-he was not a fan of musical instruments in church. He was not afraid to argue for the sake of the truth. He was also weary of missionaries because he felt like many of them preached erroneously and spread false doctorines.. Hmm. Yikes! A part of me wants to rebuke him and in another way-I know my missionary friends and I have experienced some very confused people-confused by the doctorine taught by missionaries.



This is what was said of Mr. Gadsby by Richard Lord,

"It is now nearly forty years since the devil and I were friends, and now during that time we've had many a conflict; but if the devil has begun to send such men as Mr. Gadsby to preach the gospel as he does laying the sinner in the dust and exalting the dear Redeemer, then the devil and I will be friends for ever."



One man so disliked Mr. Gadsby that he went to towns and preached against him. This man was soon dismissed from his congregation-to which Mr. Gatsby sought him out. From then on, these men were friends to death.
As I continued to read a biography of his-I became more enthralled.....and suddenly I was on the 110th page and out of time. ....so I leave you with these few thoughts in hopes you will check out some of his hymns....ahh....beautiful.
To read his biography online:
http://books.google.com/books?id=rTZsc7rMBzkC&pg=RA1-PA74&lpg=RA1-PA74&dq=William+Gadsby+and+Andrew+Fuller&source=bl&ots=pffuWtItip&sig=ZXyiH--fqMxovh0T9lXu7FTJcv4&hl=en&sa=X&oi=book_result&resnum=3&ct=result#PRA1-PA113,M1
I could not put it down (or close it if you could say that about my laptop..) :)